Retaliation !

Two days ago, after five months in suspended animation, my main computer, Piotr V died of natural causes. Among his predecessors, Piotr V would be the most resilient; surviving two comas, three brain transplants, and a massive stroke that conributed to (but not directly caused) his ultimate demise.

Yesterday, while I was happily cruising down EDSA, the Grey-Nameless-Car (that's what I call her cos she never warmed up to me) was struck by the strangest sort of engine-voodoo-funk that left me stalled between two lanes. Meanwhile cars are passing me by and the more helpful ones decide to contribute by honking their support--LIKE I WAS STALLED IN THE MIDDLE OF EDSA TO ENJOY A PLEASANT CUP OF TEA.

So my 'puter's dead. At tangina, kinulam ang awto ko.

The universe is clearly out to get me. Except I don't think it knows who it's dealing with. I'm sure the wiser, more prudent thing to do would be to placate the universe with offerings of human sacrifice, rituals involving scantily-clad tribal women, and songs of praise for its wondrous being. Except, again, I don't think it knows who it's dealing with.

I don't bend, universe! And I don't cower or placate! I destroy back!

So I'm walking around today bending spoons, unscrewing screws, crumpling paper, untuning guitars, disintegrating clouds ~ and look how much fun I've stumbled upon:



Enjoy the video!

( * And don't feel bad for the CD, it was found guilty of treason by an IAAF Military Tribunal and was sentenced to death by melting.)

Armageddon Plan 04-5a-0001 ::: 'Dig'

fig. 0001z

There are a precious few things that are as demeaning as being the victim of one's own devices. I believe this to be even more true in the case of evil boys (and their teddybears) who plot to bring about planetary destruction. It's a feeling akin to the sensation of stabbing yourself with a spoon. It is also not unlike the feeling at the moment of realization that you have been peeing on your own foot.

Henceforth, all unhappy blogging activities are suspended indefinitely and the cause of the anti*blog shall once again be taken up with a happy mix of furious fervor and dastardly delight.

So let them hear us coming! Let loose the black balloons! Let the machine awaken!

Ah, :), an armageddon plan at last... *

* * *

Ingredients :::

1.) Shovels of every shape and size; shovels to dazzle the unbeliever!

fig. 0001a ::: happy shovels

2.) Pails (preferably with flower prints on the side for long life and happiness).

fig. 0001b ::: recommended flower pail

3.) An army of 'volunteers' (slaves) with wonderful singing voices and cheery dispositions.

fig. 0001c ::: IAAF 'volunteers' are given personal hand and neckcuffs FREE OF CHARGE!

4.) Whips and Cattleprods.

fig. 0001d ::: A 'BFC 3000 ULTRA' Cattleprod

Procedure :::

1.) Using the tools listed under 'item 4' of the ingredients section (that would be the... uhh... whips and cattleprods) 'motivate' the 'volunteers' into digging a hole to the center of the earth (as shown above in fig. 0001z).

2.) Singing while digging is encouraged!

3.) Pour icecubes into the hole until the planetary core cools and solidifies into a giant chunk of metal and mineral.

* * *

A Haiku Paves the Way

I've mouthfuls of pears 
That should never have been touched
It's no use spitting.

03 ∙ 12 ∙ 2007